it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
