Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
