Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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