i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
sarcasm needs its own font
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
