Dual....:-)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
