this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize