hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
