Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
