I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
