i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
