The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
