There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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