Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
