i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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