oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
