I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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