I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
