Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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