Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
