she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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