Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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