careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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