he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
