Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I am one with the molecules
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
