they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
