At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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