just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
