Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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