Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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