theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
