I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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