So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
