No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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