I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I did not marry a roomba.
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