he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
