I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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