She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
