i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
