is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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