you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
