im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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