I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
