and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
