I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize