If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
