Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
