Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
