Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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