She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
