So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
