I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
