I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
