Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
