I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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