hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
