Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
