Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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