just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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